


Rare Volumes

by MrProphet



Category: Black Books, Cthulhu Mythos - H. P. Lovecraft
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-22
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-10-22 13:37:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10698132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrProphet/pseuds/MrProphet





	Rare Volumes

"Maaaannny!"

Manny rushed into the sales room of the book shop to find Bernard sitting up in his chair, not merely straight up but actively leaning backwards, his eyes open wider than Manny could ever remember seeing them and a cigarette dangling forgotten from his mouth.

"What is it Bernard?" Manny asked urgently, but there was no reply, Bernard's eyes remaining fixed forward with a look of horror. 

Alarmed, Manny ran back into the kitchen and lifted the panel in the floor that Bernard didn't think he knew about. Retrieving a bottle from the concealed space beneath, he cracked the wax seal as he ran back and wafted the bottle under Bernard's nose. Slowly, Bernard's hand came up to grasp the bottle and tilt it to his mouth, draining most of the bottle in under a minute.

"Bernard, are you all right?"

"Manny," Bernard replied in a hoarse whisper. "What is that... thing?"

Manny followed his gaze to the squat, vaguely humanoid statuette which crouched on the counter, its squidish head flanked by crudely-rendered batlike wings. "Oh, that. It was in the box of books that you bought."

"Which box of books that I bought?" Bernard demanded. "What box of books that I bought? I don't buy books, Manny; this is a book shop, not a book... buyery."

"You buy the books that you sell," Manny reminded him, but Bernard waved away his 'spurious logic' and demanded to know what Manny had been doing buying books on the false pretense that he, Manny, was in fact he, Bernard.

"You... I," Manny corrected, aware how long the argument could otherwise go on, "bought a box of books from the little man who came in here last week. I was going through them this morning and I found this little fellow. I thought he was cute."

"Cute?" Bernard snapped, eyes still fixed. "It's hideous. And you left it... there. Where it would be the first thing I saw when I woke up? You made me look at that thing... sober? What were you...?" He turned on Manny, and as he did so, seemed to notice the rest of the room, and the bottle in his hand for the first time. "Where did you get my bottle of Chateau Margaux?" he demanded.

"I..."

"Never mind. You're a thief."

"But..."

"What are you?"

"A thief, Bernard."

"Ah-ha!" Bernard smashed the bottle over Manny's head and threw the remnant aside. "Now, show me these books that you stole, you thiefy thiever."

"Yes, Bernard," Manny agreed, clutching his head as he led Bernard to one of the shelves. The books were old and bound in some strange leather, dry, yet smooth to the touch. Bernard leafed through one of them. "Manny," he said. "This book is gibberish. It's just full of squiggles."

"It's Arabic, Bernard," Manny explained. "The little man told you... me."

Bernard slammed the book closed. "What is it?" he asked.

"The al-Azif," Manny replied.

"Never heard of it. Is there a film? Never mind, I hate films. What about this one?" He pulled out a dusty paperback with another squiggle on the cover. "The King in Yellow?"

"Apparently it's about someone called Hastur," Manny explained.

"Hastur?"

"Hastur, yes." There was a distant rumbling.

"We don't sell children's books, Manny," Bernard said, slapping Manny's already tender head with the book. "And get rid of that..." He turned to point at the statuette, but the desk was obscured behind a tall, cadaverous figure in ragged, yellowish robes.

They watched in horror as the figure's mouth opened and a dry, whispering voice uttered forth: "Have you seen the Yellow Sign."

After a moment, Bernard replied: "I haven't been to the theatre in ages." He clapped a hand on Manny's shoulder and propelled him forward. "But I'm sure my associate can help you."


End file.
